How do I begin?
For the past two months (I only vaguely know how long) daily life here in my world has changed dramatically and is still changing at breakneck speed. I’ve had to adapt quickly and accept things I don’t want to accept. I’ve also had the gift and a promise of a substantially more satisfying life. How can this be possible?
My love has a rare blood disease which suddenly threatened his life. It has lead to hospitalizations and frequent treatments of transfusions in Boston. I recall the day I accepted it. I was beside him in the infusion room and wept for three hours, unable to halt my grief. I wept out of love for him.
Going to Boston for long days of treatment is difficult for both of us. We ride at seven in the morning in a shared van for an hour to two hours to get there. We are usually waiting for another shared van between two or three in the afternoon, arriving home around four or five.
He’s exhausted because of his condition, the treatments, and the trip. I’m exhausted because I am disabled and rely on leg braces and a walker to get around. We have combined emotional exhaustion. It’s an understatement to say it’s difficult.
But these days have a gift in them which hasn’t gone unnoticed by me. We have grown closer, and although he has been my fiancé since March, being together while he goes through this trial brings out our love and commitment even stronger.
We live in separate apartments in the same complex. I have been searching for a two-bedroom we can share which is affordable. Our dream of living together suddenly crystallized two weeks after his first hospitalization. We accepted the offer.
Living in love together will be healing for both of us. But moving at this point in time has thrown us into the chaos of positive stress, too. While he is heavily burdened with taking care of himself, I am feeling inadequate because of my physical limitations.
It will all happen. It will all come together. We have been offered so much help that I envision a smooth transition and a happier life, regardless of what challenges lay before us.
I am putting my money on the best yet to become. In love, together, as one.